Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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