and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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