i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Who wears a wallet chain?!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
