Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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