oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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