bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
