I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
