Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
