I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
