Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
