i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize