Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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