he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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