she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
