capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
