my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This is my gift to your gina
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
