she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You ruined the universe
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
