You're my little dorito
My brain says no but my pants say off.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
