please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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