True but thats because hes a fetus.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
