Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
