I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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