me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
