But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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