i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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