well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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