You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
