also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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