I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
