i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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