he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
