Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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