he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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