I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
