so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Success! We fucked roommates!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
