S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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