he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
