No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
