you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Oh god it's open bar.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
