I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
