I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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