Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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