Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
