it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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