they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Vodka?
Forever.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
