I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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