my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
you had me at cake vodka
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
