I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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