No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
