SEEEEXXX PLEASE
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
