Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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