I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
wow bdsm is so cute
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
