Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The beer is more important than you right now.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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