you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
