im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
