the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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