amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
