i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
