I love black thongs
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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