can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
