i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
