So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
