I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
