I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
