Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
