I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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