she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize